Chapter 205

Si Chengyou was crying. This fact took Shen Yue a full 10 seconds to accept. What kind of person Si Chengyou was. If someone had asked Shen Yue this question earlier tonight, she would have certainly said that Si Chengyou was a dangerous person. He was too perfect, good at everything, without any flaws to be found.

But now, she wasn't so sure anymore.

She had suspected that the scene unfolding before her now could be a scheme by Si Chengyou, that it was something Si Chengyou had deliberately wanted her to see. But when her gaze fell upon the red marks on Si Chengyou's arm where she had just grabbed him, she couldn't be certain anymore.

Si Chengyou's body seemed too delicate. His hands were cold the last time too.

Shen Yue looked at the corners of Si Chengyou's eyes, ultimately not saying anything. She just turned her head to rummage through the utility room to find the first aid kit she had accidentally discovered before.

When Shen Yue had taken out this first aid kit last time, she had noticed the items inside seemed to have been used quite frequently. She had thought they were for Si Chengyou to treat others, but now, seeing his injuries, it was evident Si Chengyou had been using them on himself.

When Shen Yue returned to Si Chengyou's bedroom with the first aid kit, the bottle in his hand was already half empty. And his left arm had another new cut, the redness of the blood stark against his skin, slowly trickling down his arm.

Shen Yue walked over silently, forcefully grabbed his hand, and started dressing and bandaging the wound.

Si Chengyou also remained silent. But after Shen Yue let go of his hand when she finished bandaging, he violently tore off the gauze, reopening the wound further as if to demonstrate against Shen Yue, letting the fresh blood flow again.

Seeing Si Chengyou seemingly transform into a different person before her, Shen Yue once again firmly stopped his actions and redressed his wound, threatening him, "If you dare remove this again, I'll throw away your jade bracelet."

Si Chengyou's restless right hand stopped after hearing Shen Yue’s words.

He collapsed backward as if completely giving up, sighing, "I won't remove it. Are you satisfied? Can you leave now?"

Shen Yue could still hear the sobbing tone in Si Chengyou's words. She wanted to do something but didn't know what. She was skilled at scheming, manipulating, peeling away other's pretenses to see their inner hearts.

But now, with a heart laid bare before her, she felt at a loss instead.

The current Si Chengyou was just like this - without the strong facade, only the broken ruins within.

Shen Yue opened her mouth hesitantly before asking, "Did you deliberately want me to see this?"

Si Chengyou lay sprawled on the window seat, not looking at Shen Yue, seemingly lost in thought.

After a long while, he finally softly replied, "It was deliberate... Shen Yue, you underestimate yourself too much."

"How could I possibly scheme against you now? Just getting close to you is already me gambling everything."

Si Chengyou's words were somewhat strange, making Shen Yue unconsciously furrow her brows. "You don't need to get close to me."

"I can't do that. You're my last hope."

Si Chengyou seemed drunk, divulging much information Shen Yue had never managed to draw out normally.

But Shen Yue couldn't ascertain its truth and so didn't reply immediately.

After some time without hearing a response from Shen Yue, Si Chengyou must have thought she had left. He finally sat up, only to meet Shen Yue's gaze the moment he raised his head.

Those eyes held nothing, yet also seemed to contain everything.

Just as Si Chengyou had assessed when he first saw Shen Yue - she could be molded into any form.

Si Chengyou retracted his gaze, asking, "Why haven't you left yet?"

Shen Yue had already seated herself on the sofa in Si Chengyou's bedroom, replying matter-of-factly, "You said you wanted to spend New Year's Eve with important people."

Si Chengyou let out a mocking laugh. "Am I an important person to you?" Shen Yue retorted, "You've taught me a lot. Regardless of your motives, I'm still grateful to you. And you said we should reciprocate."

Si Chengyou hadn't expected the concept of reciprocity to be used like this one day. He bowed his head with a bitter smile.

Unlike his usual restrained and perfect smiles, Si Chengyou's current smile contained a chilling ferocity.

He walked to the table, opened another bottle of wine, and asked Shen Yue, "If you're not leaving, do you want to drink?"

Shen Yue shook her head. "I won't drink."

Si Chengyou didn't press further either. Holding the wine bottle, he sat back down on the bed and started drinking straight from it.

Shen Yue remained silent.

And so did Si Chengyou.

The room was filled only with the pungent aroma of wine, the smell of blood, stifled sobs, and the sound of liquor going down his throat.

"Si Chengyou, just what are you trying to do?"

Si Chengyou had finished yet another bottle. He stared blankly out the window. At Shen Yue's words, he turned to look at her, his eyes shining with a light she had never seen before. "What I want to do... is become a hero."

"A hero?"

"Yes, a hero. I want to be a hero. But... not everyone can become one. Someone like me, just managing to get this far has already exhausted everything I have. No matter how many times I try, the outcome would be the same - I don't have what it takes to be a hero, I'm too weak..."

"You're not weak," Shen Yue walked over and took away the bottle in Si Chengyou's hand. "Stop drinking."

Si Chengyou let Shen Yue take the wine bottle without struggling, just looking at her. His eyes held strong determination. "You're different. You're not the same as me. Heroes are born, not made - and you're a born hero." Shen Yue didn't know what madness had come over Si Chengyou. She had never thought of herself as a hero and made no attempt to refute him. She just pulled Si Chengyou up by the hand and led him to the bed. "Alright, you should sleep."

Si Chengyou grasped Shen Yue's hand in return, but his grip was so light Shen Yue could easily break free if she wanted.

He asked, "What about you then?"

Shen Yue glanced at the dumplings she had brought. After hesitating for a long while, she finally said, "I'll stay here with you."