Volume 13 Chapter 12 - Return

Part 1

The northern lands are blanketed in snow.

From the beginning of the journey, it has already been four months.

Fall, the season when the beast race is in heat, has long passed.

Only the long winter remains.

In the heart of the forest, even in the midst of dense vegetation, the snow reaches up to our waist.

"Elinalise and I will lead the way."

I head to the front after I said so.

I'll take down anything that shows up, magic is not a problem.

Zenith doesn't show much fatigue either.

The Armadillo shivers from the cold, but it's fine if it gets warmed by magic once in a while.

Everything's fine.

Part 2

That night.

Elinalise and my turn for night watch.

She abruptly speaks up.

"Rudeus, I have something to say."

I can already guess what it'll be about.

It's Roxy.

I sat down in front of Elinalise.

If she reproaches me, I can immediately kneel down.

Elinalise sat down with her legs to the side.

What will she yell at me for?

Being unfaithful to Sylphy?

Or for sleeping with Roxy?

"Rudeus, you don't follow Milis, right?"

Elinanise speaks, but about neither of those things.

"…?"

I don't understand where she's going at.

But, to me, only one person is worthy of God.

That would never change.

"No."

"Also, Sylphy doesn't believe in Milis either?"

"Erm, that should be right."

Sylphy doesn't follow any religion.

Or rather, between the people I met, only Cliff really is a Milis follower.

Cliff would always wear the sign of Milis on his neck. Once every 7 days, he would go to the church for mass or something.

At least, Sylphy didn't wear any Milis symbol or attend service.

Maybe only Cliff does those things, so belief might be possible.

At least, I never heard about it.

"My Cliff, he's a Milis follower."

"Yeah."

I was just thinking about Cliff, and confirmed immediately.

"Do you know? For followers of Milis, one of the commandments are to marry only one wife."

"Something like that."

"To say, love that wife forever, even if it can be difficult, but that's also a form of love. That's true happiness."

That's how it ought to be.

To love another with all one's might, and at the same time be loved, that's what happiness is.

Even so, I still drifted and fell in love with Roxy.

I like Roxy, that's without a doubt.

But, those miserable days are still vivid in my memory.

The one who cured me and brought me happiness was Sylphy.

I want to use love to repay her.

This feeling is without a doubt too.

"But that's Cliff."

"Yes."

"I don't agree that there is anything inherently wrong with multiple lovers."

"Elinalise might think so, but won't that be unfaithful?"

I asked back, but Elinalise shook her head.

"If you cast Sylphy aside then it's another story, but as long as you properly love her, that isn't unfaithful."

"But if there're two partners, then the love to each of them becomes halved."

"It's not like you stick together all day, right? It's not halved. Although it might be less, it's not that bad."

Isn't less precisely the problem?

Human kind, are so dull against more, but also so sensitive with less.

If Sylphy felt I haven't loved her as much as I did, then that's a serious issue.

"Think about it this way. After Paul married Lilia, was Zenith unhappy?"

Unhappy, happy?

Although I thought Paul slighted her.

But now that I think about it, there was not really any unhappiness.

That's true even now.

Or rather, as a result Lilia and Zenith became even closer friends, even happier than before.

Even though when the two wives gang up on him, he seemed a little unhappy.

But that's also a form of happiness.

But now, that kind of happiness, is no more.

"… Anyways, Elinalise, what are you trying to say."

So I asked.

Thinking about Paul, I felt a tinge of pain.

If we keep going, it would only hurt more.

So, I decided to be blunt.

"Rudeus, marry Roxy. You like her, right?"

Having her say that kind of pisses me off.

"… Are you serious?"

"Oh, of course I am."

"Elinalise, should you be saying this? As Sylphy's grandma, shouldn't you consider Sylphy's happiness instead?"

I don't have a right to blame Elinalise.

The unfaithful I have no right.

Breaking my vow with Sylphy, sleeping with Roxy.

No matter what the situation is, those are the facts.

Yet here I am blaming someone else for this.

"Erm, I said so. Only I can say so."

Elinalise looked at me boastfully.

"Perhaps I can say this in a different way, but, before I was Sylphy's grandma, I had already become Roxy's close friend."

I didn't understand her right away.

But, soon after I realized it's about the order of things.

It's only after meeting Roxy that Elinalise met Sylphy.

"Truth be told, I can't take Roxy looking like so depressed anymore. That girl obviously wants to stay by your side. She clings on to you, yet plans to step back and leave. Only because she was a step too late."

Hearing that from her, Roxy really is very pitiful.

But, from Sylphy's perspective, Sylphy is pitiful too.

"That girl, if she separates with you, she would definitely suffer a cruel life. Who knows if a bad guy ends up taking advantage of her, treats her poorly, then finally sells her to a brothel for money, and in the end having children to unknown fathers."

"Isn't that a bit unrealistic?"

"Of the people I met, some girls have walked that path."

Her voice is earnest.

Is it a personal experience?

"I, even if I get blamed, want to see Roxy find happiness."

"I also want to, but-"

"Rudeus, if it's you it's possible. You can give Roxy and Sylphy love equally. You are Paul's son, you ought to have that type of aspiration."

Can I do it?

I can do it.

Yes, I can.

Because, I love them both equally in the first place, there's no reason I can't.

But is that really okay?

Can it be that simple?

Isn't that just wishful thinking on my part?

No.

…This is the temptation of the devil.

I can't listen.

"No, only Sylphy…"

"I didn't plan to say this, but--"

Elinalise interrupted me.

Then, quietly, continues.

"At our night out, I overheard that Roxy's didn't come this month."

"… Eh?"

Her period?

No, no point pretending. It's definitely that.

Eh, but that.

"Well, we don't know for sure yet…"

No, but we did it.

If it's that, then it's possible.

Afterwards, that day, Roxy punched my chest without any power.

Was that a hint?

Elinalise spies at me for a bit, continues.

"Rudeus, if Roxy is pregnant, what would you do?"

Hearing that, Paul's image suddenly comes to my mind.

Yes, that was the Paul from when Lilia was pregnant.

The Paul that doesn't deserve any sympathy.

Completely lost at what to do, I helped him.

Paul was also someone that deserves respect.

But I can't copy the him back then.

"… I would take responsibility."

"How?"

"Marry her."

Marry, so I say.

Somehow I felt forced.

Even so, I can't really say it.

Besides, after saying it, I suddenly feel a weight off my shoulders.

I like Sylphy.

But, I also want to marry Roxy.

I don't want Roxy to be stolen from me, I want to make her mine.

I'm so selfish.

After telling Sylphy those words, and even having a child.

Then suddenly wanting another woman.

Unforgivable.

Considering all that, I'm basically the scum of mankind.

Until now, I always said that Paul is scum.

But, I'm also a man.

I fell for two women, and I want them both.

If I get them both, what's wrong with that?

Just like Paul.

If this led to falling apart with Sylphy and Roxy leaving me.

Then I would lose them both, just like that.

Em, that's right.

This isn't just my problem.

"… If Roxy-sensei and Sylphy would agree, then that's another matter."

"Alright, then I'll go call Roxy over."

"Eh?"

Elinalise stood up as she said so.

And suddenly went into a nearby tent.

How fast.

Soon after, Roxy came out alone.

Doesn't look like she has been asleep.

She looks at me nervously.

Maybe Elinalise already said something to her.

"Do you have something to tell me, Rudi?"

Roxy sat down in front of me.

As a result, I also straighten up.

What do I say.

Isn't this too fast?

I haven't thought about what to say yet.

No, no point in worrying anymore.

"Well, it's about what I said before."

"Oh."

"I… like Sensei. From the start I always liked Sensei. Not only like, but also respect. Although Sensei may worry that your magic may not be as strong as mine, but that doesn't matter to me. The magic that Sensei taught me saved my life many times. It's because of Sensei that I'm still alive."

Roxy's face flushes red.

My face probably is flushing red now too.

Face-to-face like this is really embarrassing.

"That, I'm really grateful that you felt this way."

"But, well, I already have a wife."

"Oh, so I have heard."

Please be my second wife.

Can I say that?

Isn't that really inappropriate?

Can't I say it any better?

What do I do?

But, I still have to say it.

No matter how I say it, the results will be the same.

I won't separate with Sylphy, and I also want to have Roxy.

Also, I need to prepare myself to talk to Sylphy afterwards.

To do something like this before Sylphy knows it.

I'm truly scum.

But, if I don't say it now.

Roxy might leave.

She's the kind of person to leave for a new journey immediately after.

If I don't keep her back beforehand, I might not have another chance.

-- That's enough.

Even if I get called scum afterwards, I don't care.

"My wife, her name is Syphiette Greyrat. Originally, she didn't have a last name, just Syphiette."

"Oh, so I have heard."

"Roxy, would you also change your name to Roxy Greyrat?"

Roxy looked shocked all the sudden.

Yet, soon she understood what I meant and bit her lips.

But, quickly her face returned to her usual seriousness.

"… For you to say that, I'm really grateful, but shouldn't you gain your wife's approval first?"

Of course, I need to discuss this with Sylphy.

To become family with someone she never met before.

I need to explain it to my sisters as well.

Lilia too, I need to tell her also.

"I need to gain her approval."

"In that case--"

I was rejected.

Of course, Roxy wished that I only pick her.

Just when that thought came to me,

"Then, after you do that, please ask me again."

In the flurry of snow, Roxy said in her usual seriousness.

[After that, ask again.]

The fact that she didn't refuse me warms my heart.

Part 3

We approached Magic City Sharia.

I told Lilia about Roxy.

She looked expressionless as she usually is,

"Ah, I understand."

That's it.

She doesn't particularly blame me.

Maybe it's because she too was in Roxy's position.

That's probably not it. Outside of Milis, this world doesn't have a one-husband one-wife tradition in the first place.

Regardless, my agreement with Roxy, to gain the approval of Lilia helped take some weight off my shoulders.

Next, once I get home and report to Sylphy the journey, I need to put my head down for Roxy.

Telling Aisha and Norn about Roxy weighs heavily on me too.

But, they need to accept this too.

Will Norn will get angry and blame me?

Will Aisha start crying and blame me?

I won't run away.

I won't regret.

"… Regret?"

Just now, I feel a sudden unease.

It's about the Hitogami's prophecy.

He said I will regret.

It's the truth, Paul's dead, Zenith became an invalid, and I lost my left hand.

We lost many things.

But, right now for some reason I don't feel any regret.

Perhaps it's all thanks to Roxy, not an ounce of regret.

It's true, I once thought, perhaps if I was stronger.

If only I learned more about sword art.

If only I was strong enough to beat the hydra.

It's true I thought about that once.

But, at the same time, the feeling of [It can't be helped] rang strong and true.

In this world, I'm not fit for battle.

I don't have Fighting Spirit, nor have an idea on how to wear it.

Swordsmanship too, without Fighting Spirit, I can't get better.

Moreover the enemy was a magic immune hydra, even if I learned King-class magic, it would be pointless.

Even though, I did think there might be something else…

But, even that doesn't leave me any regrets.

Paul is dead.

But, because of his sacrifice, I could now face my past.

Even though I troubled everyone, even though everyone was concerned, but in the end, I think I still came up on top.

Because of that, I don't regret.

Only scars remain.

Right, only scars.

My trip to the Begaritto Continent left only scars.

No regrets.

In that case, regret, would it be what happens next?

Don't tell me.

Something happened to the sisters that I left behind?

No, recalling what that Hitogami said.

He mentioned something about Pursena and Rinia.

Or maybe, it's something to do with them?

Unless it's about getting their help to solve something.

Or maybe, don't tell me.

It's the pregnant Sylphy…

Outside of these, what else can I regret?

Even with this unease, we can't travel any faster.

The weather worsened, the snow fell heavier.

Everyone's fine, but Zenith seems fatigued, so I made a saddle with Earth Magic and let her ride instead.

The Armadillo seems to be suffering from the chill and about to die any time now.

Maybe I should have left it at the desert.

No, it's too late already.

At least, before it dies it deserves a name.

Jirou.

It'll be Jirou.

Do your best, Jirou!

days later we reached the path we came on.

From here it takes 10 days to reach Sharia.

Considering the entire journey, this isn't really long.

But, now that we're here, this felt like the longest part of them all.

Part 4

We arrived at Magic City Sharia.

I head straight towards home.

I can feel my pace quicken.

"Hey, Senpai, what's up? Your face is a bit pale, maybe you should use a little detox?"

Gisu looks quite worried in his banter.

But, I completely ignore him and keep moving forward.

"Oh, this is the city center right. Well, let's stay here then, so many people going over to Senpai's would just be a bother--"

I didn't bother to listen to whoever that said that behind me.

"Hey, Senpai… Rudeus!"

Without realizing it, I broke into a run.

Leaving everyone behind, I rush towards home.

I lived here for over a year, the path I always jogged on, I ran.

I completely ignored everyone around me.

Always on the edge of falling over, I ran.

It can't be helped, my balance is terrible right now.

Without a left hand, I can't run properly.

I almost tipped over before someone held me back up.

"What are you in a rush for?"

It's Elinalise.

"No, I just have a little something."

"… What is it? You just start panicking all of a sudden. What happened?"

"Ah, no, well. I don't know why, but I felt like Sylphy is in danger."

"Danger? For what reason?"

"None, really."

I shake off Elinalise and start pacing ahead.

This unease, I need to clear it as soon as possible.

Home is right before my eyes.

If according to plan, then Sylphy's tummy should be big now, so she should be home.

What if she already gave birth, then wouldn't that be premature?

In that case, don't tell me---

Anything is fine.

Anything is fine, I don't just want anything bad to happen.

At my doorstep.

Even though the snow begins to pile up, but everything looks about the same as before.

There are trees and shrubs in the yard now.

Is that Aisha's doing?

It feels more gorgeous now.

I took out my key from the baggage.

Insert it into the keyhole, it rattles a bit.

The key felt cold; my hand is shaking.

It won't open; it won't turn.

"Ugh"

I put my hand on the door knock and rattle the icy door.

"Is it already open?"

Hearing that from Elinalise behind me, I grabbed the doorknob.

Pushing it aside, the door opens.

Be more careful!

I walked in as I thought so and stare right at the person behind it.

"B-brother!?"

"Aisha… is everything fine?"

"What's fine?"

Aisha stared dumbfounded from me to the Elinalise besides me.

Then, also to behind me.

I looked back, Roxy was panting there.

Anyways, I grabbed onto Aisha's shoulders.

Aisha seemed to have felt something odd on her right and stared in that direction. Her eyes widen.

In shock she stares between my hand and face.

"Eh, what happened, brother, your hand?"

"You're fine. Then Sylphy?"

"Eh? Eh… Em, Sylphy-sama, she's right here?"

Sylphy looks dumbfounded, standing right behind her.

Her tummy got bigger.

Ah, her breasts got bigger too.

If I remember correctly, it should be 7-8 months by now.

She'll start lactating soon.

No, either way is fine.

"Rudi… W-what's wrong?"

"Sylphy, it's fine? Did anything happen?"

"Eh? Em, everyone's doing well, because Aisha was trying hard too."

Sylphy is okay.

Ah, it's obvious just looking at her.

"Then everyone else, Norn? Cliff and Zanoba and people, they're all alright?"

"Eh? Alright? Nothing at all happened?"

"Nobody is sick or injured?"

"Em, em, nothing particularly…"

Sylphy looks dumbstruck.

I'm completely lost at what I'm trying to say.

Ah, I see.

Me.

I finally get it, nothing at all happened.

"B-brother…?"

Coming back to my senses, Aisha's face suddenly looked higher.

She sure grew.

No, I collapsed.

"Right."

All my strength left me.

In the end, that regret, is Paul's death.

Also, that about my past parents.

I was overthinking it.

"Aa…"

Realizing this, I finally let out a breath.

"Thank goodness."

Right then, Sylphy slowly walks up to me, placing her hand on my shoulder.

I feel the warmth from her hand slowly spreading from my shoulders.

Quickly she kneeled down, slowly spread her hand over my back.

I wrapped my arms around her back.

Thinking on one hand, that without my left I couldn't hug her tight, I hug her tightly with my other.

I can smell Sylphy's fragrance.

"Rudi… welcome home."

Paul, Zenith.

And also Roxy.

They are a lot that I must talk about.

I also need to go welcome in the friends that have been waiting in the plaza.

Because I rushed back here alone.

I was just anxious.

Nothing happened, just take my time.

But first, there's something I need to say.

"I'm back."

I am back.